“I run LA from the farm to the table.
My cash crop is green and 100% sustainable.
Prius freshly pimped, one-of-a-kind, unattainable.
My pimp juice is organic and your girl knows I’m insatiable.
Food trucks were the year’s fro-yo,
Cupcakes hit their last plateau,
Ramsey lost his kitchens though
he’s still got lots of TV shows.
The hottest fads: mixology,
The New York Times said bye Bruni.
I still can’t pronounce Wurstkuche.
So say sayonara to Eat a Pita.
Instead just eat at Lett’s Gjelina.
Skip XIV by Michael Mina,
Jitlada keeps your wallets greener.
Top Chef had Ludo, Suzanne Tracht,
Exclusive as my Am Ex Black.
And bacon got a lot of flack
Because of swine flu’s weak attack.
Digital media took Gourmet as victim.
Little Tokyo’s Mitsuwa got handed an eviction.
KFC went grilled not fried, but note the contradiction,
as kids who fight obesity continue getting sickened.
Street, Rivera, Umami, Tavern.
4 stars for Bazaar assuring they’ll earn,
but no longer the hottest and that may burn
cause Keller’s in LA so it’s Bouchon’s turn.
Tweeting what you’re eating
Unfortunately won’t be fleeting,
As speaking to who you’re seeing
No longer is believed in.
I’ll terminate your state like the governor ya’ll.
Give a f*%k like Wolfgang Puck at the Governor’s Ball.
No Roscoe’s only Reb’s, that’s who Southerners call.
Rhymes spit like at a pig roast, and you’re loving it all.
Till Twenty Ten, Lil Weezy, I’m iller than E. coli.”