Caviar in a Recession

Besides travel, nothing makes me wish I was rich more than cars and caviar. My dinner at Guy Savoy was a great example of how caviar can stand out, even in a meal of superb, stand-out dishes.

It’s the decadence and exclusivity of caviar that makes it twice as inappropriate during a recession, yet ten times more satisfying. It inspires an arrogance that says “screw you recession, I’m fine. I don’t need you. My caviar girl is setting me up with the good stuff despite your dismal economic outlook.”

Unfortunately I’m not fine. Not fine enough to spend hard earned money on things besides bills, car insurance and gas. Thanks to Petrossian, however, I now have a caviar girl. A girl that, once I’m financially fine, will provide me with extensive domestic and imported caviar from the best sturgeon in the sea. My caviar girl is Sidonie, the manager of the newly renovated Petrossian on Robertson.

The perfectly appointed and well-stocked space will provide respite for wealthy shoppers only mildly affected by the recession, yet majorly affected by TMZ. Before summer’s end I’m sure the headline Paparazzi Pursues Paris at Petrossian will top a page of US Weekly.

On the boutique side, Petrossian offers a wide range of products from their smoked salmon to foie gras, pate, wine, champagne and more. No expense was spared setting the table at the center of the shop:

The abundant selection of caviar is the real draw. There’s the lowly American Hackleback which runs around $100 for under two ounces. For the same size you can also get the Imperial Special Reserve, at the staggering price of $1,250.

There are some affordable sandwiches, salads and brunch options, but you’re probably gonna want some caviar which will run you $23 on the smoked salmon club sandwich and $28 on an omelet.

I drove straight from Petrossian to buy a Lotto ticket. I know it’s silly but to have the freedom to listlessly stroll down Robertson, catch up with Sidonie, have her point out some unique, “exquisitely rich” caviar, then show up at Mother’s Day brunch with a dazzling treat, is a freedom that I want. I also want to be rich.

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